When Apologies Aren't Enough

Claire was happy that Vanessa had been doing well, at least one of them was. She filled the glasses that she pulled down with some water from the fridge and was bringing them over to Vanessa when the glasses were suddenly shoved from her hands to the floor. Claire didn't even hear them hit the floor as it seemed like everything in time just stopped as Vanessa's lips met her own.

The wolf's breath hitched in her throat as she felt Vanessa's hands in her hair and the did something that she had been wanting to do for awhile now and kissed Vanessa back in a passionate manner. Her hands came up, they were trembling as they touched Vanessa's cheeks softly. She couldn't believe this was happening, really happening.

A few tears left the wolf's eyes as she sunk her fingers into Vanessa's hair. She was sure that she had lost the woman forever with the pregnancy and the being a wolf thing. "I thought I lost you." Claire spoke as she pulled from the kiss and looked to Vanessa with tears still in her eyes. "I can't do this without you." She spoke as she took hold of one of Vanessa's hands and placed it softly over the baby that was growing in Claire's stomach.

Claire's lips trembled as she let her forehead rest against Vanessa's "I love you, I've always loved you, and I never want to hurt you again." Claire voice was sincere yet weak all the same. It was the first time she had said those words to anyone and actually meant them.

Claire knew that it had been a risk to expose her true self to Vanessa but it was a risk that she had to take. If the two of them were going to work then Vanessa needed to know the truth, because it wasn't something that Claire could hide forever. "I'm glad you stayed." She wouldn't know what to do had Vanessa actually left, but one thing was for sure, it would have broken her more then she would have liked to admit too.

Hearing those words back made Claire feel weak in the knees, because she never expected it to happen. She gave a smile as she placed a hand softly upon the curve of Vanessa's neck. "I will, I promise, whatever it takes I will help you through this." Claire spoke softly as she leaned into Vanessa's touch and gave soft laugh to Vanessa's playful nature.

She brought her head up and gently kissed Vanessa's forehead before kissing the tip of the nurse's nose and then looked to her again. "It's a full moon tonight, and I am not sure what is going to happen to me or.." Claire looked down at her stomach, it scared her to think that she could lose her child. "Will you stay with me tonight?" She asked softly, she knew there was a way to keep Vanessa safe, this place was a safe haven for when the moon took over.

"You'll be completely safe, I promise." Claire spoke in a sincere manner, because she would always keep Vanessa safe. If anything she needed Vanessa to see that side of her and still love her when morning came around.

Claire wished that she could avoid the shifting but sadly not even Oliver had been able to find something. There was also the fact that neither of them had ever heard of a female wolf being pregnant in human form. Normally when a wolf got pregnant hey were stuck in their animal form but not this time. It was why Claire was so concerned about the baby to begin with, because the shifting wasn't bad for her rather painless at this point unless she fought against it like she had that night with Vanessa.

"You'll be safe, come with me I'll show you." Claire spoke as she took Vanessa's hand and led her to the room that Oliver had help set up so that on the full moon Claire didn't actually bite someone and give them the curse that she had lived with for so long.

She opened the door to the room which had been sound proofed and part of the room was sectioned off with steel bars much like a cage. "I know it is a lot to take in, but it's for everyone's safety. I only use this on a full moon, because its the one time of the month I have no control over my shifting or myself." Claire explained as she looked at the room that she would be changing in when evening came around. "There is bullet proof glass between the bars, so that way I can't actually hurt anyone, so you don't have to worry about anything as long as you stay on this side of the bars." She added just so that Vanessa knew that she would be completely safe and wouldn't have to worry about any accidents.

"Sometimes the shifting can be painful, so we sound proofed the room if it gets to be to much for you all you have to do is leave the room and close the door and you wont be able to hear anything." Claire wanted Vanessa to know that it wouldn't be something that she was stuck watching or hearing but could if she wanted it. Basically she was give Vanessa all the options she needed for tonight.

"No matter what happens, do no come in there with me. One scratch or bite and you will end up like me and I don't want that for you. Just know that I will be fine in the morning." She wanted to make it perfectly leave that Vanessa would only put herself in danger by coming in the cage once Claire was starting the transformation.

Claire walked back over to Vanessa and placed her hands softly upon the woman's cheeks. "This is a lot to take in I know, but know that this was my choice." She spoke before pressing her lips against Vanessa's forehead softly. For 1400 years she had ripped people apart for the good of her owner, and now that she had the right to make up her own mind she wanted to make sure she didn't infect anyone.

"And you don't have to stay in here all night, you are welcome to leave if it gets to be to much." She spoke in a reassuring manner as she brushed her fingers through Vanessa's hair, because she wanted the woman to know that everything was going to be okay. "Come on, we have a few hours before I need to come back in here. What would you like to do?" She asked calmly as she went to lead Vanessa out of the room they really had no reason to stay in there any longer.

Claire was glad that Vanessa was being so open about seeing the wolf that lived inside of her. This would only make their bond stronger and would give Claire a better idea of how the wolf in her would take to Vanessa seeing as it had been so eager to get out before. At least with the cage, Claire knew that Vanessa was safe as long as she didn't do something stupid like open the door. "I know, but being open is the first step to adjusting, after all things are typically only scary until you see the truth. And don't worry I don't turn into one of those half human werewolves you see in movies, just a larger version of your standard timber wolf." She smiled hoping that would help ease Vanessa's mind a bit more.

The werewolf couldn't help but to smile when Vanessa mentioned making something to eat, because that was one of the stops that Claire was going to make before Vanessa showed up. "Sounds good, but I should warn you the house doesn't have much in the way of healthy food, been eating out a lot, but your welcome to whatever is in the fridge." Claire hasn't been grocery shopping in awhile, but then again Oliver lived here too so there could be more then just take out in the fridge.

Not wanting to get in the way Claire sat in the couch, turned to the side so she could watch Vanessa cooking. She folded her arms on top of the back of the couch and let her head come to rest on her arm. Maybe she was getting ahead of herself but Claire couldn't help but to smile as she started to think of the future with Vanessa and the baby around, like a little family.

While the pregnancy may have been unplanned, in this moment right now the old wolf was living a long time dream of having a really family of her own. It was enough to choke Claire up for a moment, damn hormones making her so emotional. She used her shirt to dry her eyes before going back to just watching Vanessa with a smile, it was incredibly hard to resist the urge to go into the kitchen but Claire was being good... For now at least.

Claire's mouth was watering at the smell of what Vanessa was cooking. It had been awhile since the wolf had a home cooked meal, if only because the old wolf couldn't cook. One could hardly blame her though, seeing as most of her meals in the past were done in wolf form and one couldn't cut with paws.

The wolf loved seeing Vanessa in the kitchen, the woman was just so graceful as she cooked. It was like watching one of those food network shows, but without all the commentary that came along with the people cooking.

"It smells really good." Claire spoke as Vanessa came over with the plates. Even the wolf in her seemed excited by the meal. After she was helped with sitting up, Claire gave Vanessa a soft kiss on the cheek before turning her attention to the plate that was made for her.

The first bite was heavenly and almost seemed to melt in the wolf's mouth. It caused her to give a soft satisfied moan at the taste of the food. This was by far better then any take out meal she had ever had. "This is amazing." Claire complimented after a few bites. She had to remind herself of her manners, and that meant taking her time eating the meal that was prepared for her. On days like today, Claire could easily give way and eat like the animal that rested beneath the surface, but she maintained control of herself.

Claire had enjoyed the meal very much, so much so that she managed to clean her plate. She felt full and satisfied and even the little one growing in her stomach seemed happy as well. While she ate, her eyes kept glancing at the window as the light slowly disappeared from the sky. It would still be awhile before the moon hit its apex but the closer the moon grew to that time the more nervous Claire was starting to get.

As she finished off her plate she was about to offer to do the dishes but Vanessa beat her too it. Instead the wolf stood up and walked over to the window and looked out at the moon. Her hands came up and rested upon her stomach as she tried to prepare herself for the potential loss of her child.

With all the research that she had done, there hadn't been a single positive outcome of a wolf being pregnant as a human. Every child had been lost during the first shift so to say that Claire was scared was an understatement. She looked over to Vanessa as she asked what they did now and gave a faint smile "There is still a little bit of time before the moon hits its apex, that is when the shift will start." Claire explained as she took hold of Vanessa's hand.

"Whatever happens, I'll be okay." She spoke before releasing Vanessa's hand and making her way towards her bedroom. The wolf wanted to change out of the outfit she was in. She normally would have done the shift naked, but with Vanessa was around, well she wanted to spare the nurse the sight of the contorting bones and muscles.

Once in her room she went over to the dresser and pulled out a large plain white tshirt and set it on the bed. She was starting to get more and more nervous as she felt her inner wolf starting to stir, it was eager to get out and yet Claire was eager to keep it in.

Her hands trembled lightly as she removed the button up shirt she was wearing, and she had to remind herself just to breathe. While she changed she kept telling herself that if she lost the child it would be no different from the past. She would force her mind to believe that the child was taken to be raised by someone else if she had too.

Once she was out of her clothes she slipped into the tshirt and then grabbed the lock for the cage off her nightstand. Coming back out of the room she signaled to Vanessa with a nod that it was time and then went into the room with the cage. She walked over and opened up the door and stood there for a moment. "Remember, no matter what do not come inside." She spoke and held the lock out to Vanessa, and waited for her to take it before stepping into the cage and closing the door. At that point she had just tried to turn off all emotion because there was a high chance that she would lose the baby and she couldn't risk going into the shift with mixed emotions.

Claire gave a soft shake of her head when Vanessa asked if there was anything she could do. At this point it was just about letting the night unfold from here. She sat down by the window, which was protected by thick panels of plastic and re-enforced with bars so that the wolf couldn't break through. She stared to the moon and watched as the moon moved towards apex, and felt the beast in her stirring to get out.

The woman closed her eyes as she felt the moon began to pull at the beast within her. Normally the transformation was fluid and painless, her body had grown used to it over the years, but something was different. While the wolf inside of her wanted out to greet the moon, it wanted to save the child as well.

A painful gasp escaped Claire as she moved a hand to her stomach, and the other planted on the floor in front of her as the shift began to take hold. Her teeth clinched together and her breathing picked up as her wolf side and human side struggled with one another trying to keep the child in her stomach alive.

This shift didn't feel the same, it was different, painful. She let out a painful scream as her back hunched up and made a cracking sound as her bones took on a new shape.

Both of her hands gripped at the floor, and shook violently as as the bones and muscles began to take on a new shape. Claire's eyes grew wide as her finger tips formed into claws, instead of coming together and forming paws. She was starting to have labored breath as her muscles started to contort and take shapes that they had never taken before.

There wasn't a time in her life that Claire recalled a shift this painful, even her rib cage was cracking and popping, extending even taken on a more human like appearance then it normally would.

Straightening up and balancing on her on her knees as her the teeth in her mouth started to take a new painful shape that caused Claire to cry out more in pain, as a matter of fact she cried out in pain a lot as the wolf contorted it's way out in a more human like fashion.

Her legs and feet even took on a new shape a mixture of human and animal, but the scariest part wasn't the pain, it was when Claire felt her heart stop. That was the most painful thing of all, causing her to scream or rather howl the loudest before falling over and her new [Only admins are allowed to see this link] form to take over.

The werewolf laid panting in the cage, not moving much as the wolf adjusted to it's new shape. Claire was unaware of any of the wolf's actions at this point, which was unusual for her, but the human subconscious was out cold due to the pain it had gone through.

Out of nowhere the werewolf sprung off the cage floor leaping at the bars and plastic panels, but the bars and plastic held firm, causing the wolf to only fall to the ground, shaking it's head before getting up and pacing the cage. It would occasionally let out a growl as it tried to find a weak spot in the cage, luckily there was none.

The werewolf continued to pace the cage for most of the night, occasionally it would let out a growl or huff but kept mostly to itself. It seemed rather un-phased by the woman in the room. As it got closer to dawn the wolf ended laying down on the floor, shortly after it fell asleep the wolf began to take on Claire's human form.

As soon as her body became fully human again, Claire took in a gasping breath which signaled the restarting of her heart once again. It took about an hour after that for Claire to start to wake up from the shift. She felt the familiar cold breeze of air touching her bare skin, which made her shiver.

Her whole body ached as she started to come to, it hurt to move but she had to sit up.

Placing a hand against the floor, Claire slowly pushed herself up. Her body shook as she sat up and she groaned as moved. It felt like she had just had a workout from hell, but couldn't recall a thing. Once she was sitting up she looked around, the cage was still holding.

Her hands came to rest on her stomach, she wasn't sure what the night had done to the child in her stomach but she prayed that everything was okay.

Tears began to fall from her eyes as she felt the soft kick in her stomach. She couldn't even begin to describe the happiness she felt feeling the baby move.

One of her hands moved up to cover her mouth to muffle the sound of her crying. She was never the sort that liked having people see her cry and this was no different. Even though the shift was new, and she didn't remember anything, the wolf had not child the baby and Claire just sat there crying.

There was this raw emotion coming from Claire that she had never felt before. From the time she was a child, she was groomed to always be strong, she was never allowed to be weak.... she didn't know how to be. It would be no surprise to Oliver that Claire had finally broken down like this.

The child being alive meant more to Claire then anyone could possibly know. It meant she could have the family that she had always wanted. She could finally see one of her off spring grow up and have a life. She would know everything about them, and for once she would be able to give them a name, see their first steps, and hear their first word.

When Vanessa came into the cage, Claire was hardly in a state where she could talk so she did the only thing that she could think of, or rather it was the wolf in her that did the thinking at that moment. Claire reached out and took hold of Vanessa's hand and brought it to the baby bump that had the child moving within it.

The wolf then let her head rest against Vanessa as she shivered. Despite the fact that she was naked, this moment was probably the most perfect moment that Claire had ever had. She had her friend... no Claire was now sure of it, Vanessa was her soul mate. She also had a child that hadn't died in the shift and that meant that her family could finally begin.

[Only admins are allowed to see this link] came rushing into the room in a breathless manner and steadied himself at the cage door. "Thank god someone was here. Is she okay? Is the baby okay?" He asked in a concerned manner, the man looked a wreck but what could one expect for a man who fell asleep at his desk.

Claire started to calm down as Vanessa held her close and began to rock her. It was enough to turn her tears into soft sniffles as she closed her eyes. Right now all she wanted was to curl up and get some sleep but her body felt so weak after this shift that the thought of moving seemed almost impossible.

Oliver came over and knelt down by the pair. "I'm Oliver, its a pleasure to finally meet you Vanessa." He spoke as he gave Vanessa a soft pat upon the back not wanting to separate the two of them right now. "Thank you for taking care of her last night, I normally don't miss a full moon, but I fell asleep at my desk." He spoke calmly and looked to wolf.

"You said that she was angry? That doesn't sound like the wolf I know, I'm sure it is because of the pregnancy." He would have to talk with Claire about it later, and see what upset her so much during this shift. "Why don't we get her to bed, looks like you could both use some sleep." He spoke as he stood up and moved to the other side of Claire so that they could both help the woman up to her feet.

"While you all are sleeping I will get her protein shake together, and supplements." He waited for Vanessa to be ready and then helped bring the wolf up to her feet. Claire could barely assist in supporting her weight so Oliver wrapped and arm around her and bared most of the girl's weight so Vanessa didn't have to. "Normally she's not this out of it after a shift, I can barely keep her sitting down." He spoke as he began to carefully walk with Claire and Vanessa over to Claire's room.

"What exactly happened last night?" He asked in a curious manner as he set Claire down on the bed causing the woman to flinch and groan as she was laid down. The movement made her muscles hurt, her whole body hurt as she was moved around but once she was on the bed she curled up. "Poor thing looks exhausted, you both do." He spoke as he gestured that Vanessa should lay down as well.

Huge? Two legs? That was not the wolf that Oliver knew at all and made him raise a brow. "That...that's not her normal shift." He spoke in a bit of shock, he would have to do some research to see why there was a change in her shift. He gave a nod to the explanation of what happened the prior night and let go of a sigh. "You two get some sleep, I may not be here when you all wake up, I have classes to teach today. I'll leave her protein shake in the fridge and her supplements on the counter, be sure she takes them she likes to try and get by without them." He explained before stepping out of the room and closing the door so the pair could get some sleep.

Claire had fallen asleep shortly after Vanessa had curled up to her, it took about fifteen minutes for her body to stop trembling and once that stopped, she fell into a deep and peaceful sleep.

After a few hours of sleep Claire began to wake up, and as she woke up she found that she was curled up to Vanessa, with her chest against Vanessa's back and the wolf's head was nestled softly in the doctor's hair. She took in a breath, taking in Vanessa's scent and it helped to keep the woman calm.

Claire could get used to waking up like this, but didn't want to get to ahead of herself. Still she couldn't stop herself from softly kissing Vanessa's neck as she checked to see if the doctor was awake yet.