So the world will never find you

She rolled her eyes and gave her a look “Freya, stop it” Why did every time she told her she would stay here with her she made it sound like she was a huge burden? She was one person, she was quite quiet and clean so she had no problem with sharing her space with Freya when it was needed. “You’re staying here until your better” She shook her head then chuckled “Enjoy your time here. If you do decide to stay with Sister Michelle, you will be wishing you were here being a burden as you like to say” Michelle wasn’t a bad person and hoped saying that didn’t freak Freya out. Michelle was just…well, Michelle. She really should be an actual word in the dictionary to try and describe her.

When she pouted she gave her a look that clearly said that didn’t work on her. She was completely immune to pouting, begging, pleading and crying, she had seen too much of it to sway her. “You were attacked by a demon…I hardly think a pillow will ease the pain” She seemed quite adamant in not doing as she asked, but when Freya flipped it around on her that she wouldn’t relax if Evelyn wasn’t relaxed…well that did work. Evelyn had a little chip in her head it seemed that was programmed to immediately respond to put people first before herself and make sure their needs were met, so Freya’s words did the trick. She sighed and looked displeased, but resigned “Fine, fine, alright” She took a pillow and put it on Freya’s lap then carefully laid her head down as she laid on her side, glancing at her “You alright?” Checking her face for any signs of outward pain.

She snorted “That’s a ridiculous statement. Whether in the office or here I still do work. You’re not keeping me from the school” No one kept her from the school, no way in hell. It was a little less convenient here at home but nothing that deterred her from doing her job. “The school is important…but there are other things that are just as important as well” As she spoke she glanced to Freya but in a whole didn’t look at her as she said that, deciding in that moment to adjust how she was sitting on the bed. When she laid her head down she paused and gave her an uncertain look “Not so bad?” She raised a brow at that statement and was ready to sit back up but she just rested her head back down gently.

She closed her eyes when Freya began stroking her hair. Yes it was a bit strange, much like a dog that hadn’t been touched for a long time. She didn’t resent it but it was just not something she was used too. She shifted a bit “No, it’s fine” She murmured, quietly lying there for a few moments before chuckling some “This is so strange…I’ve never done anything like this with anyone but Castielle” There were times, especially when she had been a younger Vampire, that she had enjoyed lying her head in her sire’s lap seeking comfort from dark times. But she had never done this with anyone else “My children used to do this all the time. Wake me up in the middle of the night, especially my son, he hated the rain” She spoke in almost a whisper as she recollected the memories.

She frowned, her eyes opening and they were heavy and sad “No…they could have been far luckier, actually” She never spoke much of her children to anyone. Her daughter mainly for she had been with her the longest, but other than a few people the majority had no idea she had ever even had sons. They were a far more painful subject to speak about then her daughter. At least she knew the fate and life her daughter had led and it had been a good one, but her sons…she never knew. She looked uncertain when Freya asked her to speak of her children and she fiddled with her nails for a moment before sighing “No…no, it’s not too hard” Oh yes it was but, if Freya was curious to know, she felt it wouldn’t be too difficult to speak of it. It had happened so long ago…but still, it was painful.

“I uh, I had my first son with my first husband. Ansgar was the boy’s name. I was fourteen. Two years later I had my second son, Ivar. Ivar I never spent much time with, he was cared for by his nurse maid, it was normal for the time for me to hardly ever see him. Ansgar though I began spending time with when he was around the age of three” She smiled softly “He was a very sweet boy, very sensitive. He liked to sit on my lap as I painted, he would dip his fingers in the paint and try to draw with me. Many times he would sneak away from his room and come sleep in my bed. His father told me not to let him or he wouldn’t be a proper man but, I spoiled him” She then turned her head and frowned deeply as her eyes grew distant.

“My husband died when I was eighteen, and I was married off to his cousin. Like any man at the time he didn’t want to bother with children that weren’t his. He sent them to live with his parents.” She could still remember it, her husband’s father picking Ivar up and his wife taking Ansgar by the hand to the carriage. The boys had cried and screamed for her and she had tried to run after them but her husband hadn’t allowed her too. “I stood and allowed strangers to take my babies. I never saw them again…never knew what became of them. Last thing I promised Ansgar was I would see him again. That he didn’t have to cry because mamma would bring him back home someday soon…” She grit her teeth and swallowed back emotion, her voice hard with anger, anger at herself “That is why I made sure to never break a promise to my daughter or to anyone again”

“Most people don’t” She said simply, because she didn’t like to talk about the past when she was human for all it had really been was a miserable life she rather not reflect on. She sighed again “You are lucky you never had children, Freya. All they are is heartbreak” She had loved her sons and they had been taken from her, had loved her daughter only for her to refuse being a Vampire and die a normal human death. Children were not supposed to die before their mother’s, it was unnatural, and yet all her children were gone now and she was still here with nothing to show for it. She shook her head “My daughter got much of my love, but not my son’s. Believe it or not I was quite the little selfish brat when I was younger. I spent time with them but not as much as I wish I had”

Evelyn wasn’t so certain she had been a good mother. She had let her son’s get taken away and took her daughter from the comforts of her life to travel with her Vampire mother. At least she had gotten to have a normal life and be happy and have the things Evelyn never got to have. It was upsetting to talk about her children, it was a wound that had never healed with her and her greatest regrets were not giving them more. But she smiled softly regardless when Freya touched her cheek even though she didn’t feel anything behind that smile. Her inquiry made her look surprised but it didn’t take long for her to chuckle “If you like, I wouldn’t mind” No one had drawn her before, at least not to her knowledge. She had been asked a few times throughout her lifetime but had always declined.

She gave her a kind look “Because of that fear you wouldn’t abandon them. Besides, I do not think it is of your nature to do something like that” Yes she hadn’t known Freya the person for a very long time, but what she had seen she couldn’t see Freya being cruel enough to abandon a child. She really did think children were a blessing but, her own experiences had made her wary to ever be around children ever again. She had been given her chance and now, now she could never have the experience of little one’s again. She had grandchildren spread about everywhere from her daughter’s bloodline, but none she had ever really met and she preferred it that way. She couldn’t bear to get close to someone who was from her family line just to lose them as well.

“I could never forget them” Maybe she’d lose all her emotions and ability to care about anything, but she couldn’t forget the memories of her children. They had been the only true bright spot in her life and they had also been the darkest. Her expression grew regretful and forlorn for a few moments “Sometimes I regret being like this...making the decision to be a Vampire. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I was supposed to watch my children get married, have their own babies, grow old, live with them and enjoy my grandchildren and teach them everything I know then die. But I decided to give that all up for this” She quickly wiped the emotion away and looked stoic once again “But, does not matter now. It is what it is”

She chuckled and gave her a look “Are you still comfortable?” She asked in return, far more worried if Freya was feeling any pain or discomfort. “Vampires don’t really get uncomfortable very easily. I am fine” She answered afterwards, knowing Freya would still want to know about her answer. She began to hear birds start calling outside and she glanced at the window, seeing the morning was starting to touch the sky before looking back to Freya. They said morning chased away all the darkness…but the darkness from last night was just going to begin this morning but she still had time left to lay here with Freya like she promised.

She smiled lightly “It isn’t selfish. Sometimes I feel the same, I like being a Vampire some days and then other’s, I regret it” She was grateful for the people she had met and the things she had learned and experienced. For having being able to take over the school and be in power like she had always wanted, to come so far from being a simpering little house wife. But sometimes she wondered if being a housewife had really been all that bad, if she had just accepted her life as it was and not fight it. But she could question those things all day long and it fixed nothing, so she tried not to dwell, but at times she found herself pondering those things like a hamster on a wheel, just over and over again.

“Your right, I’m not used to it but, it isn’t so bad” Actually it wasn’t bad at all but she was a bit timid to just go right out and admit that to not only Freya but herself. When she had been a girl she had thrived off affection, and now she turned her face at it like a terrible stink. But with Freya she was finding she liked it, it was nice and was truly comforting. She sat up while she shook her head, turning to look at her “I appreciate you wanting to assist me but everything I have to do today I must to myself” She had to call and check up on how the clean up inside the school was going, assess the gossip going around, speak to all the humans that had been stuck in the labyrinth and give them some bullshit excuse for it, tame any news reporters, figure out if all the fae that died had any ties or not…she’d be on the phone and running errands all day relentlessly.

“Thank you” It had actually been quite calming to just lie there on Freya’s lap and just talk to someone where the conversation wasn’t about work. All her conversations every single day seemed to be about the school or the students or situations overseas…never about anything else. Even though it had hurt speaking about her children, she could still call that refreshing from all the work related topics she dealt with every day. She wore a constant mask with people, having to play the role of the cold hearted bitch just so everyone would fear her so she could keep control of her position. With Freya…none of that was needed. Yes she still had reservations around her but by now it was just second nature, a habit hard to break.

She nodded at her question “It is. With morning now here, I have much to begin” She knew everyone would be awaiting further orders from her and she couldn’t hold that off, not with such a disaster at hand. “You need to rest further whether you like it or not. Your body still has far to go in recuperating. The more you sleep now the less time you need to be stuck in bed” She raised a hand and gently touched her cheek, brushing her fingertips against her skin “I appreciate your comfort. It did help me”

She scooted back to give her room to lie down but stayed there and watched her to make sure she didn’t need any help or anything was abnormally still in pain. “Careful” She automatically found herself saying as Freya laid back down, frowning as she could tell the woman was obviously still in pain and was struggling, so she gently touched her and tried to help her lie back as best she could without causing her anymore discomfort. Once Freya had managed to lay back on the bed fully Evelyn looked her over, forever a worrier, making sure everything about her looked alright and she hadn’t somehow fallen apart while trying to have her lie back on the bed.

She glanced down for a moment as she kissed her hand then looked back at her gently. She knew she had too much on her mind to bother thinking anything else but, she couldn’t help but wonder what in the world this meant for her and Freya. But as she started to mull it over she realized she didn’t have the time to think about it, she really didn’t. It would have to be saved until another day, once everything blew over. She nodded “Get some rest. I’ll check on you soon” She told her, getting off the bed and gazing at her for a few moments before walking out and closing the bedroom door to keep any noise out, then going to her desk to begin the grueling life of her job.